first time

So, here I am. My life is in an uproar. I feel like the last 14 years I have spent watching this storm build around me, and instead of leaving, I put on a raincoat and tell the kids to throw their galoshes on. Some days I know what I want. Others, I have no clue whatsoever. Why is it a threatening thing for me to wish to go to school? To do something solely for myself? I've spent my time looking after my kids, taking care of my husband's needs and critical assignments he "just didn't have the time for" and now, looking back, where have I been all these years? If I go to my high school reunion, and people ask me what I've done with my life, I don't know what to say but to tout my husband's career and my kids' accomplishments. Is that sad, or what? But when I reach for what I want in this life, it is solidly denied to me. It seems there are huge chasms between me and the things I aspire to. I want to be proud of me, and I want support in that which I wish for. I won't get it from my husband. I won't get it from anybody but myself...I guess I have to be my own biggest cheerleader. :-)